I lost my purse last week. Everything was so sudden and left me speechless. That was my first experience ever in my life that i felt like something heavy knocked me down.
Up until now i still clueless how did it disappear from my bag. That morning in the hospital i remembered that i took out some money from purse but it was still in my bag to donate for my friend to fly back to malaysia, who was just lost his nephew because of criminal case recently. Every malaysian knows this. That was the last time i saw my purse. After that, i couldn’t think how did it lost..either pickpocket or maybe patient whole stole it since i was in the clinic and we were supposed to keep our bags inside examination room. I guess the latter.
There were a lot of money in it since i just withdrew them a day before because i got to pay a lot of things. My bf’s sister is here and i feel i need to spend a little bit more to help her discover and enjoy my place. I realized that i lost my purse when i arrived a restaurant to pay my meal. I called my bf then to tell him and he rushed to help me finding back my purse.
Even until today I’m still lost a word for this. Everyday i wake up from sleep thinking that today someone will return it back to me. I really hope. But I’m still confused why I’m still hoping. I know I won’t get back the money, I already returned athirah’s money since there’s some money of hers inside, I already blocked my bank cards. Things left are my nationality card and driving license that could be easily renewed when i go back to my country soon. Others are some pictures and memories that i want to bring along everyday and everywhere. Luckily and thank god my residency card wasn’t in it. I thought it was but suddenly the morning i supposed to go to police station, i found it inside my passport. Which it saved me from dealing with freaking complicated terribly annoying authorities.
What make my heart heavy are the memories..the purse itself has a sentimental value in my life..i bought it after finishing my 4th year medical school. It’s the witness after my struggles. Its the memory we spent in qatar.. that are what i value the most about the purse.
I’m amazed with myself that I managed to stay a little bit cooler than I used to know myself. I cried for a few seconds when i was telling my bf about this then just a few minutes when i reached home after we tried all around hospital and bus station to find back my purse..
I’m not saying that I truly accept that I won’t get my purse back. Deep in my heart i hope I’ll find it someday. I’m feeling guilty for being sad because i know this is just world that nothing is permanent. No matter how much i love my purse. As some other people are going through worse time and bigger challenges, it made me to keep these feelings inside my heart and i keep trying to ignore and forget it.
I’m becoming more sensitive when i found beggars. I’m saying to myself that I don’t have money too but at the same time I know when we should give more when we feel we have less. Allah will grant me better and more. But both of these feelings made me sad and want to find it back.
After all, I’m really grateful for having my bf all the time by my side. He’s my strongest supporter, he calmed me down, and I’m still strong because i don’t want to hurt him because of my bad mood and i don’t want to make him even worry about me. This incident makes me feel i only have him and it’s enough. Thank you sayang 😭 I’ll stay strong 💪🏻